Indulging My Inner Sports Guy


This being my first year doing fantasy football, coupled with my lack of a social life/friends here in San Diego, I have decided to highlight my progress. It’s just a four person league between my cousins and I. Here is a recap of our draft from Wednesday morning:

Out of the goodness of the three cousins’ hearts, Blood City Hoods’ GM Christopher Speed was granted an hour extension on Wednesday Morning’s 521 Rosecrans League Draft. Speed, spotted galavanting with self proclaimed “rocker” chicks just hours before, cited a misplacement of his “Creature” as reason for his delay. Hair Bear Bunch GM Jerrad Xavier, displaying one of the true characteristics of his cuddly team’s moniker that leaves fans certain he is Hair Bear through and through, took the necessary steps to help Speed reclaim the Creature and reach the draft location within the hour extension period.

With the drama of the morning checked at the War Room door, Draft Day ’07 officially commenced with the selection of LaDainian Tomlinson at 11:06 am PT. 15 rounds and 59 picks later, Xavier ended the draft with Bengal’s kicker Shayne Graham. “Extensive pre-draft research revealed that Graham is extremely fond of Spiderman, as well as video games, and spraying salsa fixings across his kitchen,” Xavier stated. “He has all the makings of a great Hair Bear, and we couldn’t be happier to have him.”

Other draft highlights included Wide Receiver Steve Smith being selected twice (Hoods GM Speed stressed no connection between alcohol and the choice), Gallows Manager Jeff Speed calmly quitting his job between drafting Willis McGahee and Plaxico Burress (quoted as saying, “This shit’s too easy n*****” while talking on the phone, filling out his taxes with one eye closed, smoking a cigarette, chewing gum, and copying draft notes off of Xavier’s “Teddy Bear ’07 Draft Cheat Sheet Yay!”), and the curious draft of one Helmet, Retarted, a kicker for the Denver Broncos.

The regular season starts a week from Thursday, with the East Coast Gladiators taking on the Vincentville Gallows and the Blood City Hoods challenging the Cave Block 9 Hair Bear Bunch.

One Response to “Indulging My Inner Sports Guy”

  1. henry Says:

    Collin, I hope you’ve got some time to read this now that the football season has started, but I’m looking into getting a real domain name, and wondered what you thought of the following:
    www dot lovesmesome dot com

    as in [I] Loves Me Some Mongolian Grill
    [I] Loves Me Some Old Gym Parties
    [I] Loves Me Some New Jay-Z song where he’s, admittingly, jacking Rakim’s flow


    Thoughts? Counter-Ideas?


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