The doldrums of late summer/early autumn are officially upon us, and as we all know, that means NOTHING is happening in the NBA. I have spent an entire week trying to think of something meaningful, funny, or otherwise to write about.
Well, I’ve got nothing.
I refuse to write about Mickael Pietrus, the blockbuster trade of Steven Hunter and Bobby Jones for Reggie Evans and Ricky Sanchez, or another NBA player getting caught with marijuana in his car (a side note, STOP SMOKING IN YOUR CAR YOU IDIOTS–JUST SMOKE AT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR HOMES!!!).
So, what am I left with? I have no NBA TV, so that rules out the Eurobasket tournament. Phil Jackson was inducted into the Hall of Fame… yup, just covered that one. Isiah Thomas continues to suck at everything, but that doesn’t count as news. Nor does Dinosaur Oden’s knee-ache (remember reading about how dinosaurs were so tall that it took them like 2 minutes to feel a pin prick in their foot because of the massive expanse of nerves the sensation had to travel through? Dinosaur Oden ladies and gentlemen). Kevin McHale traded Al Jefferson to Larry Bird, er, the Pacers for Darrell Armstrong and a 3rd round pick, that is nearly newsworthy… be honest, you had to check to see if I was kidding about that one didn’t you.
What I’m left with is this: Gilbert Arenas and YouTube. Gilbert Arenas, as I’m sure most of you know, pens (types? punches?) the funniest blog on the internet. His life is unbelievably entertaining. And YouTube simply can’t stop won’t stop. So in the midst of these tweener days, entertain yourselves with this excerpt below of Agent Zero’s blog and this makes-me-giddy montage while we wait for real basketball news to start once again.
Excerpt from Agent Zero: The Blog File, posted Sept. 8th
“So I went on a strike.
I think all men should do this when they have a disagreement. This is Relationship 101. When you have a fight with “the other,” don’t answer their calls and don’t answer their pages. That usually gets the point across that you’re not talking to them. So, I held out for seven days. I went on strike for seven days and stayed at the gym for seven days. I slept in the gym. They got nice couches in there and it just kept me in the gym working on my knee and stuff.”
–Gilbert Arenas, hero
Now, enjoy these highlights, and dream dreams of trophies, green, and white.