Chyea. 2008. ’08. My man.
Rather than be a follower and make a 2007 wrap-up/compilation/best of/been done too many times before post, I’m trailblazing like a 13-game win-streak and writing to you from the other side of the line.
Instead of a 2007 post, it’s a 2008 post. But none of this prediction or year that will crap. The Y is closed today, and as a result I’m in need of some exercise. So partake in some mental iron pumping with me here (a la Jigga’s “Breathe Easy”) as I play number association with the concentric, and theme of the next 364 days, figure known simply as “8” (must be Brazilian).
Number eight… Antoine Walker. Good lord, Antoine Walker. Scarily, I almost rang in my new year speaking about ‘Toine, discussing the now good times after the years of bad ones with a fellow C’s fan. I recall the game when Antoine was 0-12 from three. Yeah, 0-12. You know what kills me about that game? The fact that he had to be 0-11 before he was 0-12, and therefore had a choice—take another three, or stop. Toine’s apparently the kind of person that won’t put a pint of ice cream down until he’s licked the insides of it clean (I think I just said Antoine Walker is a depressed female), because he chose the fomer. That’s okay, ’08 has Employee Number 8 in Minnesota. Enjoy celebration dances with Mad Dog and fighting over shots with McCants, ‘Toine. Glutton.
Number 8… Troy Aikman. I just got a headache. The Cowboys, which makes me think of the Bills. I don’t feel bad for them, though, Buffalo sucks. I had a friend from Texas with two hamsters when I was in middle school. He named them Emmit and Irving. Sorry, Troy, it’s an athleticism thing. But at least you’ve got your broadcasting career.
Number 8… Kobe Bryant. Thinking of Kobe rocking number 8 makes me think of these shoes and this hair style. Both are the best of their respective Kobe Bryant categories. Remember Kobe airballing threes in his early playoff years? Or Kobe with the glove to protect his mending broken hand? Soon that turned to Kobe throwing alley-oops to Shaq and hitting dagger threes against the Pistons in championship games. Good lord, Kobe Bryant very well may be the best basketball player whose prime I’ll ever witness (I just barely missed Larry Bird, calm down, and I was an MJ hater in my youth so I mentally blocked out his games).
P.S. Kobe Bryant is the best player on the planet.
Number 8… ocho. That’s one half of ocho-cinco (or cinco-ocho if you live here in New England and have seen that creepy comcast commercial with Papelbon—biter). Nothing really compares to his antics last season. Except possibly his interview with Keyshawn Johnson this year, where he almost made Keyshawn walk off set (Keyshawn being the interviewer mind you) because his wit was simply too sharp, his tongue too quick. What was the best Chad Johnson celebration? The pylon mini-golf one was good. So was the football CPR. And the “Please Don’t Fine Me” sign. I really am getting sick of the crack down on celebrations, both in the NFL and NCAA (did you see that ridiculous flag called on FSU last night for the front-flip into the end zone? Bowden was right, everyone does that, and no one gets called for it). Let them dance. They bring in the money. I don’t watch the NFL to see matching team sneakers or league-approved skull caps, and no one buys tickets to watch you play, Goodell, so fix your priorities.
Number 8… so in the spirit of number 8, go cube 2, root for Dale Earnhardt Jr., win a game of pool, and find out why 6 is afraid of 7. Here’s to 2008.
Tags: Antoine Walker, Bobby Bowden, Chan Johnson, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Emmitt Smith, Jonathan Papelbon, Keyshawn Johnson, Kobe Bryant, Larry Bird, Mark Madsen, Michael Irvin, Michael Jordan, Rashad McCants, Roger Goodell, Shaquille O'Neal, Troy Aikman