The Facilitator: 4/24/08

I read so many sports blogs and surf through enough other random sites that I have decided it is finally time for me to start my own version of “links.” Seemingly every blogger has their own take on this, with their own witty name to boot, so who am I to break tradition?

So, ladies and gentlemen, the Facilitator’s inaugural post (note: I am picturing myself as Chris Paul while writing this).

  • I had planned on writing about the Celtics continued desecration of all things Hawks, but found that a slightly drunk Lang Whitaker, author of Slam Online’s The Links and a die hard Hawks fan, did a more than suitable job. A taste of his hilarious article (read the rest of his game notes here):“What’s with all the smoke in the Garden? Did they recreate the American Revolution just before tipoff? I understand that the fireworks and stuff looks cool, but maybe there’s a way to do introductions where you can actually see the players afterwards?”
  • A few days ago, just following the Lakers Game 1 blowout of the Nuggets, I found this quote in ESPN.com’s game recap: “In Denver, Nuggets coach George Karl said Monday there was a ‘good chance’ he would make a lineup change in Game 2.’We talked about some lineup changes before yesterday,’ Karl said. ‘We decided to go with the guys that got us to the dance. There is a good chance there will be a change.'”Profound. I mean, what insight, to commit to the idea of probably changing the lineup after giving up 128 points and losing by 14. Then, in the same article, Kenyon Martin drops this gem” ‘We didn’t do a real good job helping one another,’ Martin said. ‘It wasn’t just a particular matchup. Most teams that win championships play defense. We want to be one of those teams.’ “There you have it: the Nuggets want to be a team that plays defense. They then showed this desire by allowing Kobe to torch them for 49 points and 10 assists in Game 2. Word is that George Karl possibly could be worried, but he is noncommittal.
  • There are many things in this world of sports that I find humorous. The things I have facilitated to in this post, for example, I find humorous. DeShawn Stevenson’s antics, in all their absurdity, I find humorous. The fact that Hubie Brown is a living dinosaur yet somehow flies beneath the radar of paleontologists everywhere, that too I find humorous.Kenny Mayne I do not find humorous.His progression from a slightly strange SportsCenter (remember when he used to yell stuff like “Bring me the finest meats and cheeses in all the land!” when people in his highlights would hit homers?) (Note: this site I just found when I Googled that phrase is creeping me out) anchor to a full-on weirdo who does fictional video “sports reports” and only covers horse racing has been mildly disturbing and sufficiently annoying.Now the label of author can be added to Mayne’s list of accomplishments. Earlier today on True Hoop, Henry Abbott posted a lengthy excerpt of Kenny’s book, which is unhumorously called An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport–a Kenny Mayne sounding title if ever there was one.

    In fact, that is the only reason I am linking to this excerpt: I find it hard to believe that Mayne was able to write exactly as he speaks and somehow find someone willing to publish his book. It’s like he dictated one of his altered reality SportsCenter bits into a voice recorder, paid some still wet-behind-the-ear intern at Bristol to type it up, and then poof: book!

    Now, in due fairness to Mayne, I have not read the entire book. In all likelihood, I won’t do so. My critique comes completely from the chapter that Abbott ran. But the chapter covered a story about a nine-year-old Mayne, a rec league basketball game, Seattle, and dog poop–I know, you’re rolling on the floor already–so forgive me if I don’t see promise for the other chapters in the book.

  • Finally, below you will find possibly the funniest video content ever created by the Inside the NBA crew. It’s a response to Kobe’s “jump over an Aston Martin” video that was released last week, and it brought tears to my eyes I was laughing so hard. Props to Dime Mag for posting the video.(Kobe “jumping over” Aston Martin video)

    (TNT response)

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